Thoughts from the Fall

A little over a year ago, on 5th February 2024, just a few days before Lunar New Year, I had a bad fall that could have killed me.  Obviously it didn’t, otherwise I would not be here writing these words.  I will not go into details of what happened.  But I do want to share some thoughts that came from it, since I have been asked about it recently.  

Essentially, I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs, outside but near PolyU campus. In the process cracking open my forehead, probably on the sharp edge of the stairs.  When I stopped falling, I didn’t quite know what happened, whether I was dead or alive, or even where I was. The first thing I was conscious of was that my head hurt terribly.  Then my hands felt wet and sticky.  I opened my eyes, and saw a big pool of blood.  And I groaned internally: “Oh, no!” I heard someone cried: “So much blood!”  Another: “I can see the bones!”  What does that mean?  Did I crack open  my skull?  Or simply that the skin was cut, exposing the bones underneath?  At that point, I realised I probably wasn’t dead, because I could hear and feel.  I could even move my hands and feet, even though they both hurt.  I might still die, but not yet.  

An ambulance came, a medic wrapped my head in white gauze, and got me to the emergency room at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, where my wife was waiting already. I got scanned right away.  Then we had to wait for 3 hours before being told the results.  In the meantime, I took the delay to mean that they had more urgent cases to take care of, that it meant that my case wasn’t that serious, that my skull was probably OK, that they would soon sew up the wound in my forehead and I could go, …  However, my wound was probably not properly cleaned yet; if they took too long, the wound could get infected; the skin could shrink and dry up and make it difficult to sew up; what if a big gap opens up? … 

More than 3 hours later, I was told that they were afraid there might have been a crack in my skull, that they want to X-ray my head again to be sure.  What?  What does that mean?  Was that a clean crack?  Were there fragments?  Did some fragments get inside my skull?  Did they have to open up my skull?  That plunged me and my wife into another terrible crisis.  Fortunately, the X-ray was quick and so was the result.  No crack.  

Now they could sew me up.  By then at least 6 hours had passed since my fall.  What was the state of my head?  It turned out they had no operating theatre, and the sewing up was done in a storage room, where one of the light fixtures had just fallen off the ceiling.  I was staring up directly towards the bare fluorescent tubes while they sewed me up.  The wound was so big, the young female doctor wasn’t complexly sure how to do it, and had to consult a more experienced doctor on the phone before she sewed me up.  Before that, the skin of my forehead had to be peeled back to clean underneath.  The doctor and the nurse that assisted her were very kind and careful, telling me at every step what they were doing.  So I felt kind of safe, although still very nervous.  Despite the local anaesthesia, I felt the needle, every pull and pinch, particularly when the doctor pulled the thread through my skin, pulled the threads tight and then tied the knots.  1, 2, 3, …, a total of 16 stitches.  I keep trying to relax while they sew me up, taking deep breaths, flexing my fingers, etc.  But I guess I wasn’t very successful.  When they were done, my body was soaking wet with sweat.  After that, the long recovery, which was not completely unpleasant.  Soon afterwards, what is left is a scar shaped like the Lion Rock.  

Many thoughts came to mind, then and afterwards.  Why did a simple fall turn out so badly?  A near-death experience, so much blood, and 16 stitches instead of a sprained ankle?  On the other hand, the forehead is probably where the skull is the thickest.  If I have to hit the sharp edge of a concrete step in the staircase with some part of my head, the forehead is probably where the damage would have been the least.  Imagine, instead of my forehead, it was my eye, nose, mouth, cheek, …., that hit the edge, …, I shuddered to image what might have happened.  

I have been reasonably fit, for my age.  I run regularly.  I have run the full marathon many times, until 2019. I travel quite a bit, mostly for work.  I am still working, way past retirement age for our university.  I do not expect to live to a hundred. But I also did not expect to die anytime soon.  So what was God trying to tell me with the fall?  Perhaps to not take for granted being alive and well?   Perhaps to be careful when I go down the stairs?  Or even walking on level ground?   

My wife like to think God is telling me that my work is this world is not finished yet.  I am way beyond retirement age.  Most of my friends, old classmates, at my age are retired.  Playing golf, taking boat cruises, travelling, taking photographs, doing voluntary work, eating good food, playing with grand children, taking it easy.  Yet I am still working practically full-time, and more. Travelling for work, a lot.  

I enjoy my work.  I am truly passionate about service-learning.  It integrates perfectly my faith and my professional career.  I team up with people who share my passion.  I get to know so many people from across so many countries who look so different from me  who share my passion.  What I do enable others to pursue their dreams.  We can see that what we do create real benefits for people in need. And we learn so much from them.  I  know I enjoy learning - that is why I love reading.  We nurture in our students compassion and a sense of social responsibility.  We work closely with many organisations of faith.  The Gospel is good news for the whole person, not just to make people believe in God.  I feel I cannot ask for a better job.  Perhaps that is God telling me that my job is not done yet.  That He wants me to work on it some more.  I will assume that is the answer until He tells me otherwise.

New-ish East Kowloon Waterfront

The development of the old KaiTak Runway is finally coming into shape.  The old airport and runway was for decades mostly a wasteland.  I have sneaked in occasionally, and found kids playing cricket, flying kites, etc.  Even people stealing storm drain covers.  My main interest was the markings where the planes should park themselves.  

Now there is a cruise terminal, which remains deserted except for the infrequent visit of an actual cruise boat. 

But the old runway is much more accessible these days, and getting more and more so.  Now one can run partly down one side and then back up the other.  I long for the day when I can run all the way down one side and up the other.  

There is also the option of running along the elevated garden in the middle of the runway, surrounded on both sides by luxury high-rise apartments.  

I was surprised by the light public housing right next to the cruise terminal. I have heard of them, but it didn’t quite register, and I didn’t know the exact location.  

They look complete, but eerily empty.  Not a soul was around.  

They stood neat and tidy, right on the water.  Not the worst place to live.  Getting in and out may be an issue, however, them standing at the far end of the runway.  

I was caught by complete surprise to see a real airplane sitting on grass right in the middle of the light public housing.  It does not seem it will move anytime soon.  

But why is it there?  I suppose it does make some kind of sense that this used to be a runway.  

But still … a real airplane in the middle of a forest of public housing right next to a cruise terminal? 

 

Hole-ly Olive

What is it?  An American football lined up in front of a firing squad?

Actually it started out as an attempt to pay homage to Yayoi Kusama’s (草間 彌生) polka-dotted pumpkins, using pieces of a palm leaf. I couldn’t quite figure out how to make a pumpkin.  So it ended up as an olive, or American football.  

It is made up of 6 slices of a palm leaf, with irregular holes cut into them.  The challenge is to cut the 6 slices into the right convex outline, then to bend them into the right curved shape, and finally glue them together.  It took many trials before I could make it work.  

One of my most satisfying pieces.  

AI and Man

At our Spring Book Club, we are currently discussing the topic “AI and Man”.  AI, of course, stands for Artificial Intelligence.  We are not discussing AI the technology per se.  Rather, we are interested in studying how AI relates to us, human beings.  In order to do that, we do need to know a bit about the technology.  What is AI?  What are artificial neural networks, which seems to be the core technology behind this current generation of AI tools.  

Som people are very optimistic about AI, others are the opposite.  How do we sort them out?  What is it about the technology that make people optimistic, or otherwise?  How are artificial neural networks related to biological neural networks - out brain?  How does AI learn? An AI appears to learn by acquiring information (memory) and then learning to reason from that memory.  But it is so complicated that the process cannot be fully traced and explained.  Is that also how we humans (our brain) learn and think?  

How does AI reason?  And why does it sometimes get it wrong? Creating hallucinations, when it says something that is not in the data that it uses to generate an answer for you. How does that compare to the mistakes that a human makes?  Why do people trust AIs so much?

Does an AI have a mind?  Is AI conscious?  If it is not conscious now, will it become conscious in the future?  Is AI consciousness the same as human consciousness?  If an AI is conscious, like a human, and more intelligent, where does that leave us humans?  

A spiritual person may say a human has a soul.  But what is a soul?  Is a mind really more than a physical body?  A person’s memory is in the brain - the biological neural network.  A mind seems to reside also in the brain.  Is a soul more than a body and a mind?  If so, how does it work?  

The very few people who own these platforms/clouds that encompass the Internet, the various social media, digital markets, AI, etc. own the information that we all contribute to create.  

In return, these clouds make use of these information to influence our behaviour, make money out of us to enrich themselves, and control our lives to a large extent.   How do we respond? 

  

No Impact, No Service, No Learning

Service-Learning is the balanced integration of service and learning.  Students learn to serve the community. At the same time, they learn through serving the community.  Hence the service is the key.  If no service is rendered, it cannot be considered service-learning; and there will not be learning through Service-Learning.  That should be clear. 

Assuming that the students have carried out some project, how does one know whether the project is actually serving the community? One can ask a number of questions. First of all, what social need is it addressing?  Secondly, who is the intended beneficiary?  Thirdly, is it really beneficial for the beneficiary?  Or one can summarise them in one question: is the project making a tangible impact?  

Take the case of a project installing a solar panel to power lighting for a family  previously without electricity.  There is an obvious need - the lack of electricity.  The beneficiary is clearly identified - the family has names and faces, in flesh and blood.  The benefit is also easy to see - even after sunset, the mother can cook and wash, thc children can study, the family can visit their friends, they can listen to their radio, the children do better at school, the family is more productive, they have a better future.  The students receive immediate feedback, from the family themselves.  In this type of projects, stakes are high, and failure is possible.  If one tries to install a set of solar panels but no electricity is generated, the impact can be quite negative.  

Teaching-based projects can be tricky to evaluate.  The team may be teaching science, English, mathematics, artificial intelligence, public health, etc.  How does one determine whether the class has actually learned what was intended?  Theoretically that can be assessed through tests, examination, projects, etc.  Most of the time, however, these are conducted as extra-curricular activities without formal assessments.  It may also not be easy to determine whether the teaching is done well.  In some cases, such as robotics or some engineering projects, the class will build something as a deliverable, which can be a reasonably clear demonstration of learning.  Herein may lie the impact.  

How about studying the impact of cigarette smoking, writing a report on the study, and putting together an exhibition on campus, as an anti-smoking advocacy?  There is a social issue.  There is a target group of recipients - the fellow students in the school.  Is there real benefits for the fellow students?  How does one know whether anyone is better informed?  Whether anyone change their behaviour?  Or even pay any attention to the posters put up on campus?  Projects that aim to educate or benefit the “public” may be difficult to evaluate for impact.  How does not know who has been reached? Who has benefited?  By how much?  

Nowadays it is quite popular for projects to produce videos or other forms of material to advocate certain worthy cause, such as environmental conservation, anti-drug use, etc., to be put on social media, such as YouTube.  However, with such a bewildering glut of viewing and listening material on social networks these days, it is a huge challenge to attract any attention at all. Marketing such material require ingenuity, effort, and perhaps professional skills.  If effort is spent in producing the material, but nobody sees them, there cannot be any meaningful impact on the intended audience.  It would appear that there is no meaningful service.  There is no benefit for, and no feedback from the intended community.  Surely the teacher or some expert can be asked to judge the quality of the material produced.  But this becomes an academic exercise.  Not service-learning.  

If there is no impact, there is no service.  The students may still have learning something.  But if there is no service, it is not service-learning.