Free Will - Or Not

I was having a cup of coffee on a morning cool enough to sit outside, under a bunch of trees on campus.  When, suddenly, I felt something soft dropped on my pants.  I instinctively knew it was a bird’s droppings.  So it was.  My instinctive reaction was to get mad at the bird.  Why did it have to do that?  Wait till I get my hands on that wretched thing …!

Within seconds, however, I was having second thoughts.  Who am I kidding?  There is really no way I could get my hands on that bird.  I cannot even see it.  Most likely it is already gone.  What if I actually do catch it?  Am I really going to punish that poor bird?  It most likely did not mean to dirty my pants.  It was just doing what it has been doing all its life - what comes naturally.  So what did I actually do after thinking this through?  I went to fetch some water to clean up the little mess, and returned to work.

I happened to be reading Robert Sapolsky’s book “Determined - The Science of Life Without Free Will”, when the bird decided to poo on me.  His premise, based mainly on physics, biology and neuroscience, is essentially that there is no free will.  Everything that we do, and even think, are determined.  By what happened a split second before, a minute before, to days, months, years, thousands and even millions of years before.  By our genes, biology, experiences.  Everything is determined - what we think, and act. 

So, what happened with the incident with the bird’s poo?  My first reaction was certainly reaction - without thinking, without an explicit “will”.  What about the subsequent “change of mind”, after “thinking through” - relatively cool reasoning?  Was I excising my will freely?  Or was that determined by my genes, biology, and life experiences?  

Looking back, it certainly feels like I was excising my will, relatively freely.  My thinking and decision were, no doubt, affected by what I know, and experienced earlier.  But it also feels like I did have a choice.  To remain upset, or to calm down and deal with it pragmatically.  So what is the answer?  Is there free will or not?  

Surabaya Sights, Sounds and Smells

I only had 2 full days in Surabaya. Whenever I can, I tried to walk the streets to experience Surabaya.  To get a feeling of what it is like, how it looks, sounds, and smells.

One morning, when I took my first walk in the neighbourhood, before attending the meeting at the university, I was pleasantly surprised to hear birds, song birds.  They were kept in cages, just like the way people do it in Hong Kong and mainland China.  

Later, on a long walk through the city, I smelt salted fish. I remember smelling the same in Yogyakarta.  At first I wasn’t sure what the source of the smell was.  Was it really salted fish?  Or was it actually something else.  This time, I could confirm, in Chinatown, that indeed it was salted fish.  Lots of them.

In the market in ChinaTown, there was so much spice, of so many different kinds: garlic, ginger, chilli pepper, lemon grass, cinnamon, …  Most of them I could not name.  

On the street, one can buy snacks that look like meatballs, fried tofu, siu mai, etc.  

Not too far from ChinaTown, there was a mosque that looks like a traditional Chinese temple. It is dedicated to Cheng Hoo, the Ming  Dynasty admiral, who commanded great fleets to visit South East Asia: Sumatra, Java, Borneo, Malacca, Bengal, Sri Lanka, Hormuz, Aden, and East Africa.  

This mosque is quite new.  But dedicated to someone who lived hundreds of years ago.  It reminds us of the historical connection between China and Java/Indonesia.  

Later on, I found Masjid Al Falah, a mosque in a very different style.  The walls are not walls in the traditional sense.  

I also walked past a statue of Karapan Sapi - racing bulls.  Very powerful bulls.  

People play chess on the sidewalk.  

Kinds play soccer, also on the sidewalk.  

When trains are passing through, everyone had to stop and wait. 

Surabaya is green.  So many tall, big trees everywhere.  One gets the feeling life is leisurely, slow-paced, traditional, in Surabaya.  

The Crocodile and Shark of Surabaya

Once upon a time, a Great Crocodile fought a Great Shark, to drive the Shark away from the land.  And the land is Surabaya.  

Some say it was a prophecy, fulfilled when the Mongolians invaded in 1293 and was driven away.

In any case, the story is now celebrated as the foundation legend for Surabaya.  The motif can be found in many forms. As a great sculpture in front of the zoo, and elsewhere. 

On tour buses. 

On the many storm drain covers, in many variations all around the city. 

They are an important element of the culture of the city. 

A Potential Service-Learning Partner

I am here in Surabaya in Indonesia to explore possible opportunities for new service-learning projects in Indonesia. We have been collaborating with Duta Wacana Christian University in Yogyakarta for many years.  Now we have a need to expand our international program. Hence the search for new partners and/or new sites. We are aware of a university in Surabaya which has been running a successful international SL program for many years.  Hence we are here to see whether we can work together.  

Our two universities share a similar vision for service-learning, and are looking for international partners.  Even then, there are still numerous huddles to overcome before a successful partnership can be set up.  That is what we have learned over the years.  We need to find an actual team from each university that have the capacity to take on a new project - that are willing to work together.  They have to agree on a common project: the service and the intended client. They have to agree on the important parameters: the timing, the duration, etc., despite the constraints that each is operating under. Funding  and management support have to be available - for both teams.  There are so many challenges to overcome that it is a minor miracle that any such project can be put together.  

We are just at the beginning of this particular endeavour.  

Thoughts from the Fall

A little over a year ago, on 5th February 2024, just a few days before Lunar New Year, I had a bad fall that could have killed me.  Obviously it didn’t, otherwise I would not be here writing these words.  I will not go into details of what happened.  But I do want to share some thoughts that came from it, since I have been asked about it recently.  

Essentially, I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs, outside but near PolyU campus. In the process cracking open my forehead, probably on the sharp edge of the stairs.  When I stopped falling, I didn’t quite know what happened, whether I was dead or alive, or even where I was. The first thing I was conscious of was that my head hurt terribly.  Then my hands felt wet and sticky.  I opened my eyes, and saw a big pool of blood.  And I groaned internally: “Oh, no!” I heard someone cried: “So much blood!”  Another: “I can see the bones!”  What does that mean?  Did I crack open  my skull?  Or simply that the skin was cut, exposing the bones underneath?  At that point, I realised I probably wasn’t dead, because I could hear and feel.  I could even move my hands and feet, even though they both hurt.  I might still die, but not yet.  

An ambulance came, a medic wrapped my head in white gauze, and got me to the emergency room at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, where my wife was waiting already. I got scanned right away.  Then we had to wait for 3 hours before being told the results.  In the meantime, I took the delay to mean that they had more urgent cases to take care of, that it meant that my case wasn’t that serious, that my skull was probably OK, that they would soon sew up the wound in my forehead and I could go, …  However, my wound was probably not properly cleaned yet; if they took too long, the wound could get infected; the skin could shrink and dry up and make it difficult to sew up; what if a big gap opens up? … 

More than 3 hours later, I was told that they were afraid there might have been a crack in my skull, that they want to X-ray my head again to be sure.  What?  What does that mean?  Was that a clean crack?  Were there fragments?  Did some fragments get inside my skull?  Did they have to open up my skull?  That plunged me and my wife into another terrible crisis.  Fortunately, the X-ray was quick and so was the result.  No crack.  

Now they could sew me up.  By then at least 6 hours had passed since my fall.  What was the state of my head?  It turned out they had no operating theatre, and the sewing up was done in a storage room, where one of the light fixtures had just fallen off the ceiling.  I was staring up directly towards the bare fluorescent tubes while they sewed me up.  The wound was so big, the young female doctor wasn’t complexly sure how to do it, and had to consult a more experienced doctor on the phone before she sewed me up.  Before that, the skin of my forehead had to be peeled back to clean underneath.  The doctor and the nurse that assisted her were very kind and careful, telling me at every step what they were doing.  So I felt kind of safe, although still very nervous.  Despite the local anaesthesia, I felt the needle, every pull and pinch, particularly when the doctor pulled the thread through my skin, pulled the threads tight and then tied the knots.  1, 2, 3, …, a total of 16 stitches.  I keep trying to relax while they sew me up, taking deep breaths, flexing my fingers, etc.  But I guess I wasn’t very successful.  When they were done, my body was soaking wet with sweat.  After that, the long recovery, which was not completely unpleasant.  Soon afterwards, what is left is a scar shaped like the Lion Rock.  

Many thoughts came to mind, then and afterwards.  Why did a simple fall turn out so badly?  A near-death experience, so much blood, and 16 stitches instead of a sprained ankle?  On the other hand, the forehead is probably where the skull is the thickest.  If I have to hit the sharp edge of a concrete step in the staircase with some part of my head, the forehead is probably where the damage would have been the least.  Imagine, instead of my forehead, it was my eye, nose, mouth, cheek, …., that hit the edge, …, I shuddered to image what might have happened.  

I have been reasonably fit, for my age.  I run regularly.  I have run the full marathon many times, until 2019. I travel quite a bit, mostly for work.  I am still working, way past retirement age for our university.  I do not expect to live to a hundred. But I also did not expect to die anytime soon.  So what was God trying to tell me with the fall?  Perhaps to not take for granted being alive and well?   Perhaps to be careful when I go down the stairs?  Or even walking on level ground?   

My wife like to think God is telling me that my work is this world is not finished yet.  I am way beyond retirement age.  Most of my friends, old classmates, at my age are retired.  Playing golf, taking boat cruises, travelling, taking photographs, doing voluntary work, eating good food, playing with grand children, taking it easy.  Yet I am still working practically full-time, and more. Travelling for work, a lot.  

I enjoy my work.  I am truly passionate about service-learning.  It integrates perfectly my faith and my professional career.  I team up with people who share my passion.  I get to know so many people from across so many countries who look so different from me  who share my passion.  What I do enable others to pursue their dreams.  We can see that what we do create real benefits for people in need. And we learn so much from them.  I  know I enjoy learning - that is why I love reading.  We nurture in our students compassion and a sense of social responsibility.  We work closely with many organisations of faith.  The Gospel is good news for the whole person, not just to make people believe in God.  I feel I cannot ask for a better job.  Perhaps that is God telling me that my job is not done yet.  That He wants me to work on it some more.  I will assume that is the answer until He tells me otherwise.

New-ish East Kowloon Waterfront

The development of the old KaiTak Runway is finally coming into shape.  The old airport and runway was for decades mostly a wasteland.  I have sneaked in occasionally, and found kids playing cricket, flying kites, etc.  Even people stealing storm drain covers.  My main interest was the markings where the planes should park themselves.  

Now there is a cruise terminal, which remains deserted except for the infrequent visit of an actual cruise boat. 

But the old runway is much more accessible these days, and getting more and more so.  Now one can run partly down one side and then back up the other.  I long for the day when I can run all the way down one side and up the other.  

There is also the option of running along the elevated garden in the middle of the runway, surrounded on both sides by luxury high-rise apartments.  

I was surprised by the light public housing right next to the cruise terminal. I have heard of them, but it didn’t quite register, and I didn’t know the exact location.  

They look complete, but eerily empty.  Not a soul was around.  

They stood neat and tidy, right on the water.  Not the worst place to live.  Getting in and out may be an issue, however, them standing at the far end of the runway.  

I was caught by complete surprise to see a real airplane sitting on grass right in the middle of the light public housing.  It does not seem it will move anytime soon.  

But why is it there?  I suppose it does make some kind of sense that this used to be a runway.  

But still … a real airplane in the middle of a forest of public housing right next to a cruise terminal? 

 

Hole-ly Olive

What is it?  An American football lined up in front of a firing squad?

Actually it started out as an attempt to pay homage to Yayoi Kusama’s (草間 彌生) polka-dotted pumpkins, using pieces of a palm leaf. I couldn’t quite figure out how to make a pumpkin.  So it ended up as an olive, or American football.  

It is made up of 6 slices of a palm leaf, with irregular holes cut into them.  The challenge is to cut the 6 slices into the right convex outline, then to bend them into the right curved shape, and finally glue them together.  It took many trials before I could make it work.  

One of my most satisfying pieces.