Foul Mood

Right now, Saturday, 23rd October, 2021, evening, I am in a foul mood.  I should be excited, anxious for the night to pass quickly, to get up early to run in the Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon.  I succeeded in getting into the full marathon, and had been training hard for it until a month ago.  I knew I would suffer terribly in the running.  I might not even be able to finish in the allowed time.  But I had been running 20-30 kilometres each week for many weeks.  I should have a chance to complete it in good time, according to my standards. 

But almost 5 weeks ago, on a training run, I twisted my foot while running down a slight slope near the M+ museum, and broke the fifth metatarsal in my right foot.  Now my right foot is in an air-cast.  I was forced to withdraw from the race.  

Now I hate it whenever I hear anything about the marathon.  I can wait for the night, and the next morning, to pass, so that it is over.  I wish I have someone to blame, to be angry at.  But I have no one to blame but myself.  Why couldn’t I have been more careful, knowing I was running downhill, and stepping from the sidewalk onto the road at the same time?  

My head tells me that - in the bigger picture - not being able to run is no big deal. My life continues.  It could even be a blessing in disguise.  I could really suffer in the race.  By pushing myself too hard, I could end up taking a bigger fall, hurting myself even more than what I have done to myself already.  

On the other hand, I could also finish the race in good shape, in good time. Who knows?

Somehow, I am feeling better already.  Thank you.